Socially Awkward Me

I actually have no idea where exactly I intend to go with this post, but social awkwardness has always been a big part of my life, so . . .

I might not seem socially awkward online. I may even sound like an extrovert. But I am mostly definitely 100% an introvert. A socially awkard introvert.

It has been very difficult at times. I know it has caused me to miss out on some things. It made working outside of the home a daily struggle (I’m so thankful to be self-employed right now). It’s exhausting, intensely awkward, inconvenient, and just plain annoying sometimes. When I was younger, I felt like I was weird and wasn’t like normal people. That there was something wrong with me. Thank goodness for the internet and the ability to connect with so many people who are Just. Like. Me. Getting to know other introverts through written messages (which is where we feel most comfortable) has been so nice. It has helped me learn that being an introvert isn’t any more weird than being an extrovert. God made extroverts and He also made introverts. There’s nothing wrong with that.

I think what can be one of the most frustrating things for introverts is our intense desire for people to understand us. To understand that just because we’re awkward or quiet doesn’t mean we’re anti-social or don’t like you. Chances are, if we’re in a social setting, we’re standing there racking our brains for something to say that won’t come out awkwardly (which it probably will anyway). Yeah, we’re not masters of small talk or carrying a conversation. Doesn’t mean we don’t like you. Not at all. I’ve made some great friends, especially in the last year. Guess what. I still feel awkward with them sometimes. But it really helps that I know they understand me.

If you’re not an introvert, you have no idea how nice it feels when someone befriends you in spite of your awkardness.

This graph is so, so true. Most of my best friends are people who found and “adopted” me. If not for them, I’d be the one standing in a corner of any social gatherings counting down the seconds until I could leave.

I think another thing most introverts wish others would understand is that introversion is not something that can or needs to be cured. True, it’s good to push yourself and get out of your comfort zone sometimes, and though social situations can get easier, it will never be entirely comfortable for an introvert.

And that is okay. After all, we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We aren’t weird. We just want people to love and understand us for who we are. So here are a few tips for taking care of those introverts in your life.

1. Talking is hard and we might get awkward, but we’re still making the effort. Don’t feel like if we’re quiet we don’t like you. (Honestly, if I didn’t like you, I probably wouldn’t be around you. Just sayin’.) Our thoughts are probably just a jumbled mess we’re trying to put into coherent words.

2. We want to be included. We might say no to something we know we can’t handle mentally, but it doesn’t mean we don’t want to be invited.

3. Be aware of your introvert friend. If we get left alone in a group setting we honestly feel a bit lost. Kind of like a child losing their parents in a crowd. Yeah, that’s basically what it feels like.

4. For goodness’ sake, DO. NOT. CALL. Yeah, don’t do it. For introverts, phones are not actually used as phones. Phones are used for texting, messaging, and other forms of written communication. Not actually talking.

5. Respect our need for a quiet “bubble” of solitude. And our need for space and the ability to do things at our own pace.

So yeah, I probably should have titled this post something like “Caring for Your Introvert” but I liked Socially Awkward Me better. It’s like Despicable Me. Oh look, a minion! :D

That was a bit long and rambling, but maybe it can help someone to know that even a very “public” person like me as an author is also very introverted and awkward. I’m not nearly so good at articulating my thoughts in conversation as I am in writing. I’ve learned to accept who I am as I’ve gotten older. And maybe it can help an extrovert to care for that special introvert in your life. Because, really, we’re kind of like puppies. We just need someone to love us unconditionally and reassure us sometimes. :D